So I have been told that this far north the people are not actually Rednecks, they are Hillbillies. (Not sure how true it is, since a redneck told me.)
People always ask us how we like it here, and I like it just fine. But I have noticed that it is quite different than the D.C. area we've been used to. We don't actually live in a "hicktown". Technically, though, we live so far outside the city limits that I don't feel bad calling it that.
Here are some things I've been collecting that are actually all true.
You might live in a Redneck/Hillbillie town if:
-you have deer in your backyard and it is legal to shoot them (with permit/tags/in season)
-your neighbors have more tractors than lawn mowers
-your neighbors have cows/chickens
-you have never seen your (very large) neighbor actually wear a shirt
-50% of the time "traffic" is because of a tractor
-there is no real traffic (D.C. traffic)
-your neighbor has 3+ old cars on his lawn (outside his trailer)
-you go out to eat and the waitress asks you (in a very rough, southern drawl), just where your accent is from
-the local football team has more followers than any church
-you have to go to the next town (20 minutes on the interstate) to find a decent grocery store
-an SUV delivers your mail
-your house doesn't show up on GPS
-you can trace back family trees of people you have just met, based on their last name
-it snows several inches and it sticks around for days, even though it's gone in the city after a couple of hours
-mowing the lawn takes hours and is especially difficult due to the furrows from where your land once held crops
-you don't worry if you hear a gunshot close to your house
-most of the barking you hear comes from hound dogs
-there are only like 3 radio stations that don't play country music (score!)
-you don't have cell signal at your house
-you secretly worry about the quality of your children's future education
-everyone does their own home repairs, because the job will be done better than any hired professional in the area (which isn't saying much)
-strangers actually talk to each other at the grocery store, etc, instead of just avoiding eye contact
-you show up at church and someone hands you a huge bag of fresh picked lettuce from their garden as welcome
That's all I can think of for now.
Good thing we like Rednecks and Hillbillies, because if we aren't careful, we might turn into them ourselves.
I'll have you know Mary that if I were to ever be Ellie's teacher, you can be assured that she would have a highly qualified teacher for that year. Have you noticed how people here call you "Hun" and other such names practically all the time regardless of gender and/or age? Does this qualify as living in a Redneck/Hillbillie town?
ReplyDeletehilarious mary!!!
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