I am a child of God

I am a child of God and He has sent me here,

has given me an earthy home with parents kind and dear.

I am a child of God and so my needs are great.

Help me to understand His words before it grows too late.

I am a child of God, rich blessings are in store.

If I but learn to do His will, I'll live with Him once more.

I am a child of God; His promises are sure.

Celestial glory shall be mine, if I can but endure.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me. Help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.

I don't even know how many times I heard, sung or read those words, but only recently have I come to really feel like I understand them.

Watching Ellie grow, I can't help but compare her physical development with my spiritual development. Every time I see her struggle, every time I see her celebrate when she figures something out, I think of myself and everything I've been through.

I know that Ellie can get to that toy that is just out of reach. She reaches and stretches and almost gets it. My first instinct is to get the toy for her, but if I do that every time, she won't learn how to get it.

How many times have I tried so hard to make something happen? How many times have I worked so hard to have it all fall apart? How many times have I cried and said 'why me'? A lot. And how many times have I considered that Heavenly Father, being the loving parent He is, knows that it's better if I don't get everything I want? Not nearly as much.

Sometimes she manages to get that toy and I promptly take it away. She doesn't realize that what she thinks is a toy is something that could really hurt her. I have to constantly be on guard to keep her away from dangerous things that she really wants.

Likewise, I have prayed and wished for things that have either never happened, or have happened and hurt me. Hopefully I've learned from those mistakes. Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.

I think of Ellie as so helpless and little. She's always learning and always growing, but she has a long way to go. She has to learn to use almost each individual muscle in order to be able to function like a regular person. It will take her years to figure it all out.

I know that I still need to develop spiritually, but hopefully I'm making progress. Maybe I can hold my own head up (so to speak), but I'm still in the crawling phase. Maybe I'm still stuck in sitting. Or maybe I'm walking on my way to running. As long as I'm still going, I'll be ok.

I've always heard people say that you can never understand the love for a child until you have your own. It's true. I love my baby so much, sometimes I think I might explode. She is my sunshine. I would do anything for her. Now, when I hear or sing that I am a child of God, it has a whole new meaning to me. I am His sunshine. He would do anything for me. He loves me unconditionally. 

It makes me feel so little; so weak and imperfect. But I'm just growing. He understands. Even when I forget, He doesn't.

And that makes me so grateful and proud to say:

I am a child of God.