Baby Dreams

As we get closer to the due date for our little girl, I find myself having more and more dreams about my baby. I used to have a lot of dreams where all I remembered was that the baby was a girl, and sure enough, we found out that we are having a girl. I was rather proud of those dreams. Now I'm not sure what to think about these latest ones.

In one my new daughter was beautiful and smiled at me a lot. In another, she had a full set of teeth as a newborn and that was kind of scary. The worst one was where I realized she was a week old and I hadn't fed her or changed her diaper or done anything to take care of her. I didn't even remember that I had a daughter until I saw someone else holding her. I woke up feeling rather horrible after that one. And last night I had a dream that I needed an emergency C-section and they took the baby away before I could see it. My mom finally complained and they brought the baby back. It was a boy. And he was black (somehow that all made sense though), but they wouldn't let me hold him. In fact, they gave me a piece of paper saying that I was an unfit mother and I wouldn't get my baby at all. So I got a picture of him crying instead, and then I went home.

Obviously I'm feeling some anxiety and it's leaching into my dreams. No wonder pregnant women and new mothers get so depressed! There's nothing as depressing as your subconscious telling you that after growing your baby all this time, you're going to be a horrible mom. And that it's going to be the opposite gender you've been planning for. And a difference race. Hopefully my brain will calm down after this baby is born, whenever that will be.